A traffic complaint

So most of us who drive have passed a driving test, and one of the things they take you through is the rules of the road.

So what is the first rule of the road (in South Africa at least)?

Its not sticking to the speed limit, its no about how Beemers get right of way.

Nope, it's :

KEEP LEFT, PASS RIGHT!

I have a roughly 50 km commute to work every day (luckily its opposite the bad jams), and every day is see this rule flaunted and ignored dozens of times.

At the moment, there are very few cars on the road due to the easter break, but still, its like most people have no regard for it.

My pet peeve is when travelling along at the speed limit (lets say 120 km/h) in the right lane, and you approach a driver, also in the right lane, doing 100.

They dont have a car in front of them for over half a km, and the person "in front" of them is probably pulling away, rather than being reeled in.

Theres no significant traffic to their left, often a huge gap.

This person is, in my opinion, partially responsible for rush hour traffic (well, that and trucks - http://www.haaretz.com/print-edition/business/tel-aviv-to-ban-trucks-in-morning-rush-hour-1.317607 )

But people think that this doesnt apply to them, everyone drives well enough in their own mind, if they thought otherwise, they'd be like Sheldon from Big Bang and not drive at all.

So I have a handy hint on how to spot if you are the asshole.

If people are overtaking you on the left, you are the asshole.

Going back to the first rule of the road, keep left, pass right.

If you have people coming up behind you and you are in the right hand lane, you have broken the rule, you arent keeping left.

Thus, they have 2 options.. slow down to your middle lane speed, or overtake you on the left.

So now they are breaking the rule.

I try to teach people doing this on the road, but dont always have the time.

So please join me in this excercise...

When coming up behind an asshole dawdling along in the fast lane, with acres of space in front and beside them, do what you were going to do anyway, overtake on the right, then get back into the fast lane as quickly as possible, then slow down to 15 km/h or so slower that the asshole.

This usually results in them moving a lane to the left.

At that stage, move back to your normal speed and get on with your day.

If enough people do this, it might teach these assholes that as much as Beemers dont own the road, Mazda 323's with a top speed of 87 dont either.

ps. I wonder how Vodacom are going to tie their red re-branding with sponsoring the BLUE Bulls.

They're already talking on the radio how the bulls can "see red" and calling them the Vodacom Bulls, or just the bulls.

There might be a whole lot of discarded blue bumper testicles in Pretoria soon!!!

Its The End Of The Numberplate Game (As We Know It)

Do you play the numberplate game?
Do you know what it is?

I read about it in an obscure "Travel Game" book when I was younger.
Basically, you take the 3 letters on the numberplate in front of you, and try to make a word with those 3 letters.
So HDL 363 GP could be HuDdLe, HurDLe, HanDLe or others.
There are variations, where no 2 letters in the numberplate must touch in the word, ie: SLT coudl be SLoT, but the S and L are touching, so a better word would be SiLenT.
Also, some numberplates lend themselves to a 3 word soundbyte, ie: DRC could be DiReCt, or Democratic Republic of Congo.

If you didnt know about the game, and it piques your interest, I have bad news.
Gauteng has now run out of unassigned numberplates in the classic format, so they are now moving to a 2 letter, 2 number, 2 letter format... XX ## XX GP.
But 2 letters is a bit too easy, and all 4 letters seems quite hard. I suppose 4 letters will be easier than the recent V,W,X,Y and z combinations closing off the classic format, but I cant help feel that this simple game will never hold the same fascination it used to.

I guess time will tell.